What was that? What? Do they speak Sindarin in What? Say What one more g-ddamned time, motherf*cker, I double-warg-dare you.
Mirkwood is upon us. And you know what that means. Helping out the local NPCs with their problems. And, continuing the epic quest line, which continues from the end of book 8, wherein a crackpot plan is hatched...
Hey, guys. Yes, you, "Hidden Guard." First of all, a couple of you elves are going to be total liabilities. I don't like your attitudes. And we already know Broin is pretty helpless, so there you have it. Anyhow, let's ignore that for a little while... Because I have a few questions.
What are you THINKING?! Answer: You're not. First of all, seriously? You decided not to kill Mazog when you could have, and decided that taking him prisoner and dragging him to Dol Guldur was a good plan? How in Middle-Earth did you come up with THAT and think it was a good plan!?
HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY BE A GOOD IDEA?!
Really, guys? As if everyone over at Dol Guldur is going to make some sort of fair and logical deal AND keep up their end of the bargain? As if they even CARE about Mazog? Bah. But, whatever, let's just go along with it. I'll go along with your plan and come help you. After meeting you (all, like, six of you... really? You decided less than a dozen questionable elves and dwarves was enough?) on the banks of the Anduin in the middle of the night, making sure he was shackled, I chased him through the marsh.
Chased. Him. Through. The. Marsh. Real good strategy there, guys. Seriously. I can't think of anything that could have gone wrong THERE. Instead of moving heavily guarded or even WITH ASSISTANCE, they ask me to chase him around? Really? The best thing you could come up with was "Let's have Val chase him through the marsh?!"
And to what end? To get him to.... the Haunted Inn.
Really? You're going to keep a high profile prisoner, a SECRET ONE, locked up in the basement of a place called the "Haunted Inn?" Really?! Nothing about this seems weird? You consider the "most powerful" orc, the "Lord of Moria" apparently, to just chill out in your basement? REAAAALLY?!?!!
This plan is looking lamer and lamer by the minute, guys. I'm not sure I can continue to go along with this. Come on, Hidden Guard. Let's just have a little "accident" with Mazog and get on with it, eh?
Honestly I'm getting a lot of enjoyment out of this story line in Book IX and I'm loving Mirkwood so far. In-character, it's made for a lot of fun role-playing, too. I've done a decent amount of in-character gossiping about whether the plan is going to work or not, talking about how I'm not sure it was such a great idea in the first place, that I said we should get rid of him but they didn't pay attention.
It's been easier to get "involved" with this storyline for some reason - maybe because it feels a little more like one of those "I couldn't make this up, it was so ill conceived" stories your friends tell you while you're waiting for the train, that invariably start with "Okay, so we were really drunk..."
(And yes, I've been feeling a little slap-happy with the /fishslap lately. I think it's the completely satisfying *thwack!* sound you get.)